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And, more importantly, that uninteresting is OK.“Most people aren’t talking about scintillating things,” she says.
“Most people are talking about mundane, average, day-to-day things, like their favourite reality-TV show, a new movie, or what the kids are doing.
For those with dating anxiety, one of the biggest obstacles to a great first date is going on a date.
A fear of rejection plays a part, Antony says, as does a fear of being harshly judged by the other person.“In treatment, we encourage people to look at things with more flexibility and to not assume their negative thoughts are true,” he says.
So what could be a promising relationship after a great first date sort of dies on the vine.” But it doesn’t have to be that way.
As thinking changes, so can behaviours, leading people to make more meaningful connections in less-stressful ways.She often tells clients about a famous psychologist who stood in New York City’s Central Park and asked every woman he encountered (within a suitable age range) to go out for coffee.“He had to ask 130 women before somebody considered it,” she says.“It’s a good story to remind people that you need to go on many, many different dates with many, many different people to find a person who you are going to click with.”In other words, if a date doesn’t work out, don’t take it personally; it’s just statistics.But for those who are socially anxious, a date can seem overwhelmingly scary. Karen Rowa, a psychologist in the Anxiety Treatment & Research Clinic at St. “Even people who make it through a fine first date can be overwhelmed by their anxieties,” she says.The typical signs of nervous anticipation can turn into an avalanche of self-doubts and fears.“What if I’m not interesting enough? “They ruminate about it, pick apart their performance, overthink their interactions and, when their date reaches out, they misinterpret the message.