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You face going from the bliss of secrecy into a tailspin of conflict with many people at once.Of course, you face this once the affair is disclosed, no matter who you end up with, but it is less awful if you are attempting to repair the damage with your primary partner.In my experience, these relationships that were “wrong” from the start are very hard to repair.

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In the initial blissful stage, it might be unimaginable that they could do the same thing to you, or that you could do the same thing to them, but once you hit the stresses of real everyday life, things can feel different and much less secure.Feeling torn between two lovers can be an agonizing experience.Besides the guilt, and fear of discovery, you also know that sooner or later you will have to lose someone you love or have loved.Meeting someone you respect, are attracted to, who genuinely cares about you, shares your values and at least a few interests, and with whom you can work through conflicts can be a catalyst for not only a great and lasting new relationship with a new person, but with yourself as well.For example, if, prior to entering your primary relationship, you had the unconscious belief that you were unlovable, or didn’t deserve to be loved, you may have ended up with someone who couldn’t really give you love.

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