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Anyway, if anyone releases a line of gold-sequined throw pillows and wants to toss a couple my way, I wouldn’t complain.

By the way, I enjoyed Joe and Melissa’s bedroom décor this week, which makes me think I’m about a seven on the look?

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We all know Dolores didn’t do anything wrong, so did Danielle misunderstand, or is she lying? If she misunderstood, then she should be a bit more humble about it. She’s the fabulousness of Erika Jayne without the artifice; she’s the down-to-earthness of Eileen Davidson without the boringness; she’s the warm, mom-ness of Caroline Manzo without the crazy mafia-code-of-silence hostility. Dolores’s quote of the week (to Siggy, re: Danielle coming on the retreat): “This is your fucking thing, I don’t have to hug anybody.” And I don’t think I’ve ever heard the expression “the elevator doesn’t reach the top floor” before. Also, the definitiveness of “absolutely” is hilarious next to “malicious,” because she wasn’t really being accused of maliciousness toward Teresa, more toward Dolores.

Of course, Dolores jumps on her right away when it comes up instead of saying, “Uhhh, I think you misunderstood.” Maybe there’s some behind-the-scenes orchestrating to make drama. It’s like, “Girl, what are you passively implicating yourself in? Siggy is having one of those days of stress eating, poor thing. He’s all, “I’m not asking,” as he chauvinistically puts his foot down to curb Sig’s business mongering, but she just ignores that and doesn’t seem at all bothered. Siggy is, after all, a relationship expert, end quote. (What’s with that idiotic “Let’s get naked” catchphrase?

I just don’t see how Danielle ever thought this would be a good look for her. Although I gotta give it to her because, as she admits, “I have issues.” And the retreat winds up being a great moment for Siggy, most impressively in her reconciliation with Margaret, which plays as really genuine and kinda sweet … Why isn’t there a coffee-table book of Okay, I guess it’s time to mention Siggy’s retreat business associate, Vikki With Two Ks. ) and I was unpleasantly surprised to find her joining the crew for dinner.

until it seems endangered again in the final frames. But on the other hand, I myself have stumbled upon a couple of opportunities to weasel my way into the periphery of made fun of my efforts while Teresa recorded her audiobook. No crying in Twinkie defense in the Harvey Milk trial where Dan White got away with murder because of a sugar crash.

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