Clueless at dating
Left untreated, this condition can go on for decades.I know people in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who still haven't figured out how to create an intimate connection with another human being. Smart people feel that they're entitled to love because of their achievements.In other words, you need to earn love (or at least lust).Sadly, no mom, dad or professor teaches us about the power of the well-placed compliment (or put-down), giving attention but not too much attention, being caring without being needy.
And if you're frustrated with your love life, you just might try to compensate by working harder and achieving even more to fill that void.Dating is at best another extracurricular, number six or number seven down the list, somewhere between Model UN and intramural badminton.I've been co-hosting young alumni events for name-brand schools for long enough to know that these kids come out a little lopsided (which sounds so much better than "socially awkward," don't you think? All they need is a little tune up, or a little dating textbook like The Tao of Dating for Women or The Tao of Dating for Men, to get them going -- plus a little practice.It's because they've been going at it the wrong way. For most of their lives, smart people inhabit a seemingly-meritocratic universe: If they work hard, they get good results (or, in the case of really smart folks, even if they don't work hard, they still get good results).Good results mean kudos, strokes, positive reinforcement, respect from peers, love from parents.